Last edited 12/17/07

If you need to leave your home to escape a violent situation, it helps to have a safety plan  that you can use when you decide to leave. You should be aware that the violence often intensifies right after separation.

One option for a safe place to go when you leave the relationship is to stay with a trusted friend or relative until you can find a new place of your own. This is usually a good option when the abuser is not aware of the location of the friend or relative’s house. If you choose to stay with a friend or relative, you should make sure that the home is secure (all the doors and windows have working locks, etc.) so that you and your friend or relative are safe.

A caution - If you decide to go live with a friend or relative, make sure you do not leave an address book or correspondence behind that might help the abuser to track you down. As you think about someone with whom to take refuge, keep in mind that the Internet offers a number of ways in which an abuser can find an address if they have minimal information. See our section on finding people for an overview of options. Keep these in mind. The abuser may have some of this information. You may want to consider a domestic violence shelter.

Consider this list of factors that police officers use in considering how lethal an abuser may become. If many of these factors are present, you may want to consider legal action and the protection of a domestic violence shelter.

Another option - If you don’t have a friend or relative that you can stay with while you find a new place of your own, you can locate a domestic violence shelter in your community. Shelters are very secure and usually in a confidential location, so that your abuser cannot find where you are staying. Most shelters offer counseling and some offer help with jobs and health care. Living in a home with others have gone through similar situations may provide you with comfort and emotional support.

Source: Maryland Legal Assistance Network