Dinosaurs' Divorce & Other Books

Dinosaurs' Divorce And Other Books

The following book list, compiled by the Maryland Legal Assistance Network (MLAN), is intended for families going through changes. You can find most of these books in your public library. Click here to access SAILOR, Maryland’s Public Information Network, which provides a list of Maryland Public libraries and links to their websites. You can also click here to link to the Enoch Pratt Free Library Website, which offers a circulating book catalogue for the Baltimore County Library System.

Dinosaurs’ Divorce and Other Books to Help Kids Through Divorce
Books for Parents: What to Tell the Kids and Divorce Advice From Kids to Parents
Books On Mediation
FINDING PERSONAL STRENGTH
Books About the Divorce and Custody Legal Process

DINOSAURS’ DIVORCE AND OTHER BOOKS TO HELP KIDS THROUGH DIVORCE

Reading thoughtful books may help children to better cope with a divorce and what it means for the whole family.

Girard, Linda Walword, At Daddy’s on Saturdays (Albert Whitman and Company, 1998) for children 7-12 - A picture storybook told from the perspective of a child who went through her parent’s divorce, and who has weekend visits with her dad. The book goes from showing how the daughter is hurt and confused by the divorce to how she finally understands and accepts the divorce and her changed relationships with her parents.

Brown, Laurene and Marc Brown, Dinosaur’s Divorce: A Guide for Changing Families (Little Brown & Co., 1988) for children ages 4-8 - A picture book featuring a dinosaur family facing divorce. The book tries to help kids understand divorce and how to deal with the confusion, misconceptions and anxieties that all families facing divorce go through. The book offers simple text and illustrations that can help children to understand what their family is going through.

Stern, Zoe, Evan Stern and Ellen Sue Stern, Divorce is Not the End of the World: Zoe’s and Evan’s Coping Guide for Kids (Tricycle Press, 1997) for children ages 9-12

Krementz, Jill, How it Feels When Parents Divorce (Alfred A. Knopf, 1988) for children ages 7-16.

Mcginnis, Lila, If Only Daddy Knew Me (Albert Whitman and Company, 1995) for children 4-8. - An illustrated storybook which attempts to validate and explain the feelings of a child whose parents divorced when she was very young and who does not understand why her father is not part of her life.

Blume, Judy, It’s Not the End of the World (Yearling Books, 1986) for children ages 9-12.

Lansky, Vicky, It’s Not Your Fault, Koko Bear: A Read-Together Book for Parents and Young Children During Divorce (1998).

Rogers, Fred, Lets Talk About Divorce (G.P. Putnam and Sons, 1996) For Children 4-8. - Written by the famous Mr. Rogers of “Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood,” this picture book attempts to explain to children what divorce is and what changes it can bring, and lets children know that the emotions and anxieties they feel because of the divorce are valid.

Blackstone-Ford, Jan, et. al, My Parents are Divorced Too: A Book for Kids by Kids (Magination, 1998) for children ages 9-12.

ABA Family Law Section, My Parents are Getting Divorced (ABA Service Center, 800-285-2221, 1996).

Nightingale, Lois V., My Parent Still Love Me Even Though They’re Getting Divorced: An Interactive Tale for Children (Nightingale Rose Publications, 1997) for children 9-12.

Powell, Jillian, Talking About Family Breakup (Raintree Steck-Vaughn, 1999) for children 6-10. - A picture book that attempts to explain to children what divorce means, why families break up, and give children ideas on who they should talk to about their feelings about the divorce. The book also explains to children how things may change after the divorce and how they can deal with those changes.

Lansky, Vicky, The Divorce Book For Parents (Book Peddlers, 1996). - A humorous take on divorce which gives information on how to break the news to the children, what behavior to expect from the children, what to expect regarding custody and financial issues, how to learn “divorce speak”, and a resource guide for persons going through divorce.

Johnston, Janet R. (Ed.) Through the Eyes of Children: Healing Stories for Children of Divorce (Free Press, 1997) for children ages pre-school to elementary.

Joselow, Beth and Thea, When Divorce Hits Home: Keeping Yourself Together When Your Family Falls Apart (Avon Books, 1996) for teenagers. - Explores the feelings of teenagers of divorced parents. Gives information on how to cope with the divorce and how teenagers can understand and deal with their feelings about the divorce.

Books for Parents
What to Tell the Kids and Divorce Advice From Kids to Parents

How do you let the children know about the divorce? How might my children react when I tell them? What can I do to make the divorce as easy as it can possibly be for my children? These are some of the many important questions that parents face when going through a divorce.

Garrity, Carla B. and Mitchell A. Baris, Caught in the Middle: Protecting the Children of High-Conflict Divorce (San Francisco, Jossey-Bass, 1997).

Lyster, Mimi E., Child Custody: Building Agreements that Work, 3^rd Edition (Nolo Press, 2000).

Shulman, Dinan, Co-parenting After Divorce (WinnSpeed Press, 1996). - A how-to-book on methods to communicate with your ex-spouse regarding your children, creating co-parenting plans, handling different parenting styles, and how to help children deal with their feelings about the parenting situation.

Sommers-Flanagan, Rita and John, and Elander, Chelsea, Don’t Divorce Us: Kids’ Advice to Divorcing Parents (American Counseling Association, 2000). - A look at divorce from a child’s perspective offering practical suggestions for coping with the challenges of a double household, long distance parenting, how to deal with ex-spouses, step parenting, and how to handle divorce stress.

Lewis, Jennifer, Don’t Divorce Your Children (Contemporary Books, 1999). - An offering which looks at divorce based on diary entries from both parents and kids of divorced families. The book centers on looking at divorce from a child’s perspective. Helps the reader understand what a child may see differently from his or her parents regarding the divorce. The book also offers advice on how to deal with the children’s feelings regarding the divorce.

Krementz, Jill, How it Feels When Parents Divorce (Alfred Knopf Publications, 1984) - A collection of stories from interviewed children of divorced parents which allows parents to see what their children may be feeling and going through by outlining the children’s experiences regarding the divorce.

Ross, Julia A. and Judy Corcoran, Joint Custody with a Jerk: Raising a Child with an Uncooperative Ex (St. Martin’s Press, 1996).

Ricci, Isolina, Mom’s House, Dad’s House: Making Two Homes for Your Children, 2^nd Edition (Fireside, 1997). - A comprehensive book dealing with issues of double households for kids with examples, self-tests, checklists, and guidelines on how to make most custody situations work and flourish.

Stewart, Abigail, How Divorce Transforms Families (Guilford, 1997).- Based on a study of 100 divorcing families with school aged children, this book outlines the psychological effects of divorce and how divorce tends to transform families.

Wallerstein, Judith, Surviving the Breakup: How Children and Parents Cope With Divorce (Basaic Books, 1998). - Written by the principal investigator for The Children of Divorce Project (a landmark study of 60 families during the first five years after divorce), this book describes the possible changes in the parent-child relationship, the new relationships that develop between the child and the non-custodial parent, as well as the child’s possible views on visitation.

List, Julie Autumn, The Day The Living Stopped: A Daughter’s View of her Parent’s Divorce (Series Books, 1980). - A first person detailed account of divorce from a child’s point of view, from a very young age to adulthood. The author explores all the experiences and anxieties that she went through and how the divorce affected her personal development.

Rofes, Eric, The Kid’s Book of Divorce (Vintage Books, 1982). - A collaborative effort by 20 Fayerweather Street School schoolchildren ages 11 to 14 and their teacher. This book offers the kid's advice to parents going through a divorce on how to make the divorce as easy as possible for the children. The children interviewed judges, counsel, clergy, and parties to divorces to get their information to come up with their suggestions on how kids view their parents’ divorce.

Staal, Stephanie, The Love They Lost: Living With The Legacy of Our Parents’ Divorce (Delacorte Press, 2000). - Based on interviews of children of divorced parents. This book attempts to explain how divorce affects the emotional development of children as affected by the divorce.

Wallerstein, Judith, Lewis, Julia, and Blakeslee, Sandra, The Unexpected Legacy Of Divorce: A 25 Year Landmark Study (Hyperion Books, 2000).- Based on a 25 year study of 7 children of divorce from childhood into adulthood. The book attempts to explain how divorce affects children’s psychological and overall development as affected by the divorce.

Weyburne, Darlene, What to Tell The Kids About Your Divorce (New Harbinger Publications, 1999). - Suggestions on what, how, and why to tell your kids about your divorce. Covers all aspects of divorce including, visitation, co-parenting, and step-parenting. Also has possible age specific reactions of different aged children when told about their parents’ divorce.

Mayle, Peter, Why Are We Getting a Divorce? (Harmony Books, 1988). - This book helps parents understand some kid’s concerns about divorce. The book focuses on children’s emotional issues surrounding divorce, the misconception that children have about divorce, and how to help children overcome feelings of loss and anxiety when faced with their parent's divorce.

BOOKS ON MEDIATION

Mediating your divorce may save you time, money, and heartache. Mediating divorce cases is becoming more popular and some courts actually require parties to attend mediation. The following books may help you determine whether or not your divorce will benefit from mediation.

Shapiro, Jack and Caplan, Marla S., Parting Sense: A Complete Guide to Divorce Mediation (Greenspring Publications, 1986). - Information on the divorce mediation process and tips on how to make mediation succeed in your divorce.

James, Paula, The Divorce Mediation Handbook: Everything You Need to Know (Jossey-Bass, 1997).

Stoner, Katherine, Using Divorce Mediation: Save Your Money and Your Sanity (Nolo Press, 1999). - A comprehensive manual on how to understand the divorce mediation process, as well as tests to see whether your divorce is a good case for mediation.

FINDING PERSONAL STRENGTH

Divorce is a very trying event mentally, physically and emotionally. The following books may help you deal with the emotions and anxieties you are feeling because of your divorce.

Mendelson, Robert, A Family Divided: A Divorced Father’s Struggle With The Child Custody Industry (Prometheus Books, 1997). - A true story of one father’s struggle to obtain custody of his child. Offers tips on the “hidden minefields” of custody proceedings and practical suggestions for reform.

Trafford, Abigail, Crazy Time: Surviving Divorce (Harper and Row, 1982). - Tips on how to build a new life after divorce. The research for this book was based on interviews with divorced persons and how they dealt with their divorce.

Warren, Sally, Dumped: A Survival Guide for the Woman Who Has Been Left By The Man She Loved (Harper Paperbacks, 1999). - Straightforward tips on how to deal with the anxieties and problems that women face when abandoned by their partners. How to see it coming, how to deal with your friends and colleagues, and how to get through the ordeal as effectively as possible.

Taylor, John, Falling: The Story of One Marriage (Ballantine, 1999). - A divorced husband’s account of how his marriage ended in divorce, from the beginning of their relationship to it’s end.

Ahrons, Constance, The Good Divorce: Keeping Your Family Together When Your Marriage comes Apart (New York: Harper Collins Publishers, 1994).

The MSN Money Central page, a for profit web page that has a library with articles written by family finance experts and attorneys concerning the financial aspects of divorce called "Cope with Separation." The opinions contained in these articles are not necessarily the opinions and are not endorsed by of the editors of MLAN. The web page has articles on topics that include:

Financial tips for the suddenly single
How to limit divorce's financial sting
No-fault divorce leaves fewer financial scars

Books About the Divorce and Custody Legal Process

About to be a party to a divorce suit? The following books offer advice and information on what being a client in a divorce suit means, what you should expect, and what resources are available to help you get through your divorce.

ABA Family Law Section, ABA Service Center 800-285-2221 (each of these issues of Family Advocate is $12.95, but if you order multiple copies, there are steep discounts):

Surviving Your Divorce (product code 513-1100-2201)

Co parenting After Divorce (Product code 513-1100-2101)

Handbook for the Newly Divorced: Practical Advice for Getting on with your Life (Product code 513-1100-1803R)

Talia, M. Sue, A Client’s Guide to Limited Legal Services (Nexus Publishing, 2333 San Ramon Valley Blvd, Suite 150, San Ramon, CA 94583-1613, www.divorcefromhell.com 1997).

Takas, Marianne, Child Custody: A Complete Guide for Concerned Mothers (Perennial Library, 1987). - A detailed guide for mothers regarding how to pursue a child custody case. Contains information on general laws concerning custody, what to expect from your ex-spouse, and what you need to know before going to court to pursue custody of your children.

Riley, Glenda, Divorce (Oxford Pres, 1991). - Outlines the history and development of divorce in America beginning in 1639. Examines the origins of various aspects of divorce, and how they relate to present aspects of divorce.

Strauss, Steven, Divorce and Child Custody (W.W. Norton and Company, 1998). - Advice from a lawyer on what a parent should know about child custody issues before consulting an attorney. Tips on what to ask the attorney and how to save on legal fees regarding the child custody issue.

Woodhouse, Violet, Collins, Victoria R., Blakeman, M.C., and Fetherling, Dale, Divorce and Money: How to Make the Best Financial Decisions During Divorce, (Nolo Press, 2000).

Steinbreder, John and Kent, Richard, Fighting For Your Children: Fathers’ Guide to Custody (Taylor Publishing Co., 1998). - A book concentrating on the father’s rights in custody cases. Explains fathers’ basic rights regarding custody, and offers advice on how to choose a lawyer, how to protect the children from the “legal fallout” of divorce, how to devise courtroom strategies, and how to create fair and workable visitation schedules.

Mason, Mary Ann, From Father’s Property to Children’s Rights (Columbia Press, 1994). Explores the history and development of Child Custody through the ages. Helps readers understand how and why child custody laws work the way they do.

Newman, M. Gary, Helping Your Kids Cope With Divorce the Sandcastles Way (sandcastle Publishing, 1998). - A how to guide on how to help your children get through all aspects of your divorce based on the “Sandcastle” program mandated by a number of family courts.

Igein, Godwin O., My Divorce Workbook (Destiny Publications, 1995).

Bergman, Paul and Sara Bergman Barret, Represent Yourself in Court: How to Prepare and Try a Winning Case, 2^nd Edition (Nolo Press, 19__; new Edition due 2/01)

Rosenwald-Smith, Gayle and Abrahms, Sally, What Every Woman Should Know About Divorce and Custody: Judges, Lawyers and Therapists Share Winning Strategies on how to Keep The Kids, the Cash, and Your Sanity (1998). This books reviews divorce from a woman's perspective, it provides many examples of what can happen without careful planning. Useful strategies are presented to have the best chance of obtaining the desired outcome of a divorce and/or custody case. Constructive communication skills are also discussed.

Rogers, Mary, Women, Divorce, and Money (McGraw-Hill, 1981). - A look at the financial aspects of divorce from a woman’s perspective. Offers tips on how to negotiate a settlement, what to do about insurance, and what to do about the family home.

Last date of legal review 8/01(MLAN/AC//DT)

Source: Maryland Legal Assistance Network (MLAN)