Creating My SAFETY PLAN

The following steps represent my plan for increasing my safety, and preparing in advance for the possibility for further violence. Although I do not have control over my partner's violence, I do have a choice about how to respond to him/her, and how best to get myself and my children to safety.


STEP 1: Safety during a violent incident. Women cannot always avoid violent incidents. In order to increase safety, battered women may use a variety of strategies.

I can use some or all of the following strategies:

A. If I decide to leave, I will ____________________. (Practice how to get out safely. What doors, windows, elevators, stairwells or fire escapes would you use?)
B. I can keep my purse and car keys ready, and put them (place) ____________________ in order to leave quickly.
C. I can tell ___________________ about the violence and request they call the police if they hear suspicious noises coming from my house.
D. I can teach my children how to use the telephone to contact the police and the fire department.
E. I will use ____________________ as my code for my children or my friends so they can call for help.
F. If I have to leave home, I will go ____________________. (Decide this even if you don't think there will be a next time.) If I cannot go to the location above, then I can go to __________________or _________________.
G. I can also teach some of these strategies to some/all of my children.
H. When I expect we are going to have an argument, I will try to move to a space that is lowest risk, such as ____________________. (Try to avoid arguments in the bathroom, garage, kitchen, near weapons, or in rooms without access to an outside door.)
I. I will use my judgment and intuition. If the situation is very serious, I can give my partner what he/she wants to calm him/her down. I have to protect myself until I/we are out of danger.

STEP 2. Safety when preparing to leave. Battered women frequently leave the residence they share with the battering partner. Leaving must be done with a careful plan in order to increase safety. Batterers often strike back when they believe that a battered woman is leaving the 
relationship.
I can use some or all of the following safety strategies:

A. I will leave money and an extra set of keys with ____________________, so that I can leave quickly.
B. I will keep copies of important documents or keys at ____________________.
C. I will open a savings account by ____________________, to increase my independence.
D. The domestic violence program hotline number is (410) 889-7884, and I can seek shelter by calling this hotline.
E. I can keep change for phone calls on me at all times. I understand that if I use my telephone credit card, the following month the telephone bill will tell my batterer the numbers that I called after I left. To keep my telephone communications confidential, I must either use coins or I might get a friend to permit me to use their telephone credit card for a limited time when I first leave.
F. I will check with ____________________ and ____________________ to see who would be able let me stay with them or lend me some money.
G. I can leave extra clothes with ____________________.
H. I will set down and review my safety plan every ____________________ in order to plan the safest way to leave the residence. ____________________ (domestic violence advocate or  friend) has agreed to help me review this plan.
I . I will rehearse my escape plan, and as appropriate, practice it with my children.


STEP 3: Safety in my own residence. There are many things that a woman can do to increase her safety in her own residence. It may be impossible to do everything at once, but safety measures can be added step by step.
I can use some or all of the following safety strategies:

A. I can change the locks on my doors and windows as soon as possible.
B. I can replace wooden doors with steel/metal doors.
C. I can install security systems, including additional locks, window bars, poles to wedge against doors,  electronic system, etc.
D. I can purchase rope ladders to be used for escape from second floor windows.
E. I can install smoke detectors and purchase fire extinguishers for each floor in my house/apartment.
F. I can install an outside lighting system that lights up when a person is coming close to my house.
G. I will teach my children how to use the telephone to make a collect call to me, and to ____________________ (friends/minister/other) in the event my partner takes the children.
H. I will tell people who take care of my children which people have permission to pick up my children, and that my partner is not permitted to do so. The people I will inform about pickup permission include:

________________________________________ (School),

________________________________________ (Daycare staff),

________________________________________ (Baby-sitter),

________________________________________ (Sunday school teacher),

________________________________________ (Teacher),

________________________________________ (and),

________________________________________ (others)

I. I an inform _____________________ (neighbors), ____________________ (pastor), and ____________________(friend) that my partner no longer resides with me and they should call the police if he is observed near my residence.


STEP 4: Safety with an Protective Order. Many battered women obey protection orders, but one can never be sure which violent partner will obey, and which will violate protection orders. I recognize that I may need to ask the police and the court to enforce my protection order.

The following are some steps that I can take to help the enforcement of the protective order:

A. Always keep it on or near your person. If you change purses, that's the first thing that should go in.
B. I will also keep a copy of my Protective Order ___________________ (location) next to my telephone in case I need to call the police. I will give my protection order to the police department in the communities where I usually visit family or friends, and in the community where I live.
C. I will inform my employer, my minister, my closest friend and ____________________, and ____________________ that I have a protection order in effect.
D. If my partner destroys my protective order, I can get another copy by going to the District or Circuit Court Civil Clerk's office, depending on which court issued my order.
E. If my partner violates the protective order, I can call the police and report a violation, contact my attorney, call my advocate, and/or advise the court of the violation.
F. If the police do not help, I can contact my advocate or attorney and he or she will assist me with getting help.
G. I can also file a criminal complaint with the commissioner in the jurisdiction where the violation occurred. I can charge my battering partner with a violation of the Protective Order and all the crimes that he commits in violating the order. I can call the domestic violence advocate to help me with this.

STEP 5: Safety on the job and in public. Each battered woman must decide if and when she will tell others that her partner has battered her, and that she may be at continued risk. Friends, family and co-workers can help to protect the woman. Each woman should consider carefully which persons to invite to help secure her safety.

I might do any or all of the following:

A. I can inform my boss, the security supervisor and ____________________ at work of my situation.
B. I can ask ____________________ to help screen my telephone calls at work.
C. When leaving work, I can __________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________
D. When driving home, if problems occur, I can ___________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
E. If I use public transportation, I can ____________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
F. I will go to different grocery stores and shopping malls to conduct my business, and shop at hours different from those I used when residing with my batterering partner.
G. I can use a different bank and take care of my banking at hours different from those I used when residing with my battering partner.
H. I can also _______________________________________________________________.


STEP 6: Safety and drug or alcohol use: Most people in this culture use alcohol. Many use mind-altering drugs. Much of this use is legal, and some is not. The legal outcomes of using illegal drugs can be very hard on a battered woman, may hurt her relationship with her children, and put her at a disadvantage in other legal actions with her battering partner. Therefore, women should carefully consider the potential cost of the use of illegal drugs. But beyond this, the use of any alcohol or other drug can reduce a woman's awareness and ability to act quickly to protect herself from her battering partner. Furthermore, the use of alcohol or other drugs by the batterer may give him/her an excuse to use violence. Therefore, in the context of drug or alcohol use, a woman needs to make specific safety plans.


If drug and alcohol use has occurred in my relationship with the battering partner, I can enhance my safety by some or all of the following:

A. If I am going to use, I can do so in a safe place and with people who understand the risk of violence, and are committed to my safety.
B. I can also _______________________________________________________________.
C. If my partner is using, I can ________________________________________________.
D. I might also _____________________________________________________________.
E. To safeguard my children, I might ___________________________________________

______________________________ and _____________________________________.


STEP 7: Safety and my emotional health. The experience of being battered and verbally degraded by partners is usually exhausting and emotionally draining. The process of building a new life for myself takes much courage and incredible energy.

To conserve my emotional energy and resources and to avoid hard emotional times, I can do some of the following:

A. If I feel down and ready to return to a potentially abusive situation, I can _________________________________________________.
B. When I have to communicate with my partner in person or by telephone, I can _________________________________________________________.
C. I can try to use "I can . . . " statements with myself and to be assertive with others.
D. I can tell myself, "________________________________________________________________________________" whenever I feel others are trying to control or abuse me.
E. I can read ______________________________________________________ to help me feel stronger.
F. I can call ____________________, ____________________ and ___________________ as other resources to be of support to me.
G. Other things I can do to help me feel stronger are: ________________, ______________,_________________________ and _______________________.
H. I can attend workshops and support groups at a domestic violence program, or ___________________________ or _______________________ to gain support and strengthen my relationships with other people.


STEP 8: Items to take when leaving. I will use the attached Checklist to plan my possible leaving. 


I will keep this document in a safe place and out of the reach of my abuser.

Review date: ______________________________________________


CHECKLIST -What To Take When You Leave

When women leave partners, it is important to take certain items with them. Women sometimes give an extra copy of papers and an extra set of clothing to a friend just in case they have to leave quickly. The items might be placed in one location, so that if I have to leave in a hurry, I can grab them quickly. The bolded items are critical to take .

When I leave I should take:

Identification

____ Driver's License and registration or other identification for myself
____ Birth Certificates for myself and my children
____ Social Security cards
____ Public assistance identification
____ Work permits, green card, passport, visa

Legal

____ YOUR PROTECTIVE ORDER
____ Lease or rental agreement or house deed and mortgage payment book
____ Health and life insurance papers
____ Medical records for myself and my children
____ School and vaccination records 
____ Divorce and custody papers
____ Copies of: Proof of assets such as bank or retirement fund statements, loan balances, stock certificates, CD's, past tax returns, his paycheck stubs, insurance appraisals, any written agreements made by you and your spouse

Financial

____ Money and/or credit: Both parties have the right to take all of the money out of joint savings or checking accounts. If he takes all of the money, I may not get my share of the money until a judge decides how the money should be divided later, if ever.
____ Checkbooks and passbooks
____ ATM (Automatic Teller Machine) card

Other Items

____ House and car keys
____ Medications
____ Jewelry/Other small objects I can sell or items of special value
____ Address book
____ Phone card
____ Pictures of myself , my children and my partner
____ Change of clothes for myself and my children
____ Children's favorite toys and/or blankets 

Attribution: "Creating My Safety Plan", Marie Smith & Laura Kniaz.