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Domestic Violence Safety TIPS YOU
DO NOT DESERVE TO BE HIT OR THREATENED 1. If an argument seems unavoidable, move to a room with easy access to an exit – NOT a bathroom, kitchen or anywhere near weapons. 2.
Identify
which door, window,
stairwell or elevator offers the quickest
way out of your home – and practice your route. 3.
Find neighbors you can tell
about the violence, and ask that they
call the police if they hear a disturbance. 4.
Devise a code word to use with
your children, family and friends when you need the police. 5.
Decide and plan where you will go
if you have to leave home, even if you don’t think you will need to. 6.
Use
your best instincts and judgment.
Think of how best to keep safe until help arrives.
If the situation is very dangerous, consider giving your abuser what he
wants to calm him down. You have
the right to keep yourself safe until you are out of danger.
1.
Identify
a safe place. Determine who
will be able to let you stay with them or lend you some money. 2.
Have
a bag packed and ready. Keep it hidden but easy to get to – for instance, at the
house of a trusted friend or relative. 3.
Leave money, an extra set of keys, copies of important documents, extra
medicines and clothes with someone you trust so you can leave quickly.
(See the
Checklist of items to take with
you.) 4.
Get information about protective
orders from the House of Ruth, Domestic Violence Legal Clinic, your local
police, victim assistance or the court. 5.
Call
any battered women’s hotline. They can help you with support information and housing. 6.
Remember - leaving your batterer is the most dangerous time. Review your safety
plan as often as necessary so you
know the safest way to leave.
1.
Change
the locks and install safety
devices on windows. 2.
Change
your phone number and
request to have an unlisted phone number. 3.
Develop
a safety plan, and discuss
it with your children, explain to your children what is going on in an age
appropriate way. Review the plan as
often as possible. 4.
Make sure your children’s school,
day-care or camp knows who has
permission to pick up your children. 5.
Tell your neighbors and landlord
that your abuser no longer lives there, and ask
them to call the police if they see
that person near your home. 6.
Before you get back into a potentially abusive relationship, discuss alternatives with someone you trust.
1.
If you have a protective order,
keep it with you at all times. Call
the police if the abuser violates the protective order. 2.
Inform
building security and co-workers you trust about your situation.
If possible, provide a photograph of the abuser to building security. 3.
Vary
your routes to and from work,
and arrange for someone to escort you to your car or bus, and wait with you
until you are safely on the way. 4.
Plan
what to do in various situations
if your abuser confronts you. (For
example, in your car or on the bus.) Ways
to Make Travel Safe 1.
Always
park is well lit area/use
busy bus stops. 2.
Always
lock your car right away
(when you leave or enter it). 3.
Ask
someone to walk you to your
car/bus stop. 4.
Always
check the back seat before
you enter your car. 5.
Never
wait alone at a bus stop. 6.
Always
carry pepper spray or mace
with you. 7.
Use
different streets to drive home. 8.
Look
around at every stop light
and before you get out of your car. 9.
If
you spot that your abuser is
following you or waiting for you, go away
and get to a phone and call 911.
When
women leave partners, it is important to take certain items with them. Women
sometimes give an extra copy of papers and an extra set of clothing to a friend
just in case they have to leave quickly. The items might be placed in one
location, so that if I have to leave in a hurry, I can grab them quickly.
The bolded
items are critical to take . When
I leave I should take: Identification ____ Driver’s
License and registration or other identification for myself ____
Birth Certificates for myself and my children ____
Social Security cards ____
Public
assistance identification ____
Work permits, green card, passport, visa Legal ____
YOUR PROTECTIVE ORDER ____
Lease
or rental agreement or house deed and
mortgage payment book ____
Health
and life insurance papers ____
Medical
records for myself and my children ____
School
and vaccination records ____
Divorce and custody papers ____
Copies of: Proof of assets such as bank or retirement fund
statements, loan balances, stock certificates, CD’s, past tax returns, his
paycheck stubs, insurance appraisals, any written agreements made by you and
your spouse Financial ____ Money and/or credit cards Both parties have the right to take all the money out of joint
savings and
checking
accounts. If he takes all of the
money, I may not get my share of the money until judge decides how
the money should be divided
later, if ever. ____
Checkbooks and passbooks ____
ATM (Automatic Teller
Machine) card Other
Items ____
House and car keys ____
Medications ____
Jewelry/Other small objects I can sell or items of special value ____
Address book ____
Phone card ____
Pictures of myself , my children and my partner ____
Change of clothes for myself and my children ____ Children’s favorite toys and/or blankets - smaller toys are best if traveling Attribution:
Marie Smith & Laura Kniaz: edited
and updated by Marla Zide, MLAN Research Assistant, June 2000.
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