Common Mistakes: How Not
to
Approach a Negotiation
There are some easy ways to
lose a negotiation before you contact the other side. Here
are some common mistakes to avoid.
- Focus on the personality of the other side rather
than the issues –
It can be very easy to personalize the situation. After
all you do not feel you were treated fairly. That is why you have a dispute! Even
if you do not like the other side, approach the
conversation with an open mind and listen carefully.
You
are negotiating in order to address a problem. You have
no doubt speculated about why the other side acted as
they did. (“He was driving like a crazy person!” “She
knew that check would bounce and she just didn’t care
about the fact that I need to pay my bills too.”).
The
best advice you can give yourself is to put aside your
dislike or strong feelings about the other side. Focus
on the issues, not the person.
- The “Right vs. Wrong” trap
– You are completely right and the other person is
completely in the wrong. Hmmmm – if the other side came
to you with that attitude, would you be open to talking
and compromise? Most disputes have some merit on both
sides. Your job during a negotiation is to figure out if
there is a fair compromise.
- Attempting to win “no matter what”
- In a
negotiation, your attitude matters. If you enter the
negotiation with the intent to “win at all costs”, you
are likely to fail. Honestly try to find a solution
where you each “win” something. Once you have the
information on what all of this will cost (time and
money), consider what you might give up to resolve it
now. If your case will be heard in small claims court, you will be in an
informal hearing where the judge will be more likely to
consider a compromise solution.
- Forgetting that negotiation is a process not an
event – Every contact with the other side is part of
your negotiation. An angry phone call followed by an
emotional letter will not help you when you finally sit
down to talk. Remember that every contact is part of the
negotiation. Each contact will influence whether the
other side is willing to compromise.
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